A Sacrifice

In response to Cody's;  Not One

I was a bag of mixed emotions before the start of the Gulf War.  The United States was building up their war machine in the Middle East in preparation to liberate Kuwait from an occupying Iraq.  I was a part of a jet fighter squadron stationed in Japan and the word was we could be called at any time to deploy to the Middle East.  I was conflicted at the time because, while the prospect of going to war appealed to the Marine I'd trained to be, I was planning to be married in December of 1990 and going to war would most certainly end any chance of that.  Also, the idea of war, and the reasons for war, were considered and discussed by me and my friends and, while going to the aid of our Kuwaiti ally seemed right, we seemed to understand that we were also liberating the flow of Middle Eastern oil from the control of Saddam Hussein.  So, when the final word came down we would not be going to the Middle East I was both disappointed and relieved.  A seemingly paradoxical position to anybody that hasn't faced the possibility of going to war, I'm sure, but one I shared with many of my military friends.  I never entered a combat situation while I served, something that these twenty years later gives me some relief.  I'll try to explain.

 I've never been anti-military or anti-war.  To the contrary, I served proudly as a United States Marine for six years, trained hard and took my work seriously, fully knowing the potential if my services were called upon.  I have supported  the United States military's involvement in many conflicts since my time of service, although critical of the execution of some, as many have been who share my beliefs.  I've argued for the justice of the first Gulf War, felt our military involvement in trying to end the genocide in Kosovo right, and I rallied with the world to fight the extremism that killed so many on 9/11.  Each conflict has it's detractors and it's controversies and I have had to reconsider my positions from time to time, but I haven't wavered in my support of our military and I can't see a foreseeable future absent of war.   War's a cruel reality made all the more evident by terror attacks the world over.  With the venomous vitriol coming from Muslim extremists nearly everyday it would seem that we won't see peace for quite some time.  The men and women willing to protect us from this ongoing threat are more than worthy of our support, and our admiration.

And there's the crux of the issue for me; the soldiers and warriors, and the price they freely pay because of the inevitability of war.  When I was young and serving in the military I can tell you that I would have died to protect my family, my friends and their freedom.  Not many in military service would tell you different.  It's in their training and their youthfulness and their innocence; and they would, and do, die knowing their death is noble and right.  Those they leave behind also know and share that nobility and sense of justice, and I have to imagine that knowledge gives solace and peace in the face of tremendous pain.  Despite misgivings one may have over the cause of a war, the lies and the obfuscations, the ideology or politics, it never mitigates that honor of one laying down their life for another.  When you get into that foxhole all ideology and politics are gone and you fight for the one next to you and the family and friends waiting for you at home.

So, what does a soldier sacrifice?  It's not just a biological end to a metabolic process, it's the time spent doing what we do, the love we share, the families we have and the friendships we develop along the way.   When I hear about a death from the battlefield I think about the ultimate nobility of their sacrifice, and I think about just how huge a loss it is.  I think it's because I've had these twenty years since I could have been in a combat zone and could have died.  The risk I would have faced would have been minimal compared to others, but a risk all the same, and all I know about my life since would never have existed; my marriage, my two wonderful kids, the love and the laughs throughout.  Each life lost on the battlefield is the loss of a lifetime.  So what I wrestle with is not so much the rightness or the wrongness of the war, but the sacrifice.  It's the sacrifice that breaks my heart.  It's enough for me to never want to support a war of any kind, or to even see this current one on terror continue if it will cost us one more life.  It's a sacrifice that is too heavy to bare.

Still, we live in a world that will continue to war for the sake of some ideal or religion, a political system, or even for a dictator.  How do we ask someone to lay aside the potential of a long and wonder filled life for the fleeting ideals of today that will surely just dissipate tomorrow?  How could we ever think that sacrifice worthy?  Well, that's really up the person making the sacrifice, and everyday young men and women make that choice willingly.  They are amazing people.  I hope that one day everyone will see that life is far too precious to sacrifice in war, but as long as someone can't see that truth we will need our soldiers and warriors to defend life.  It's ironic to think that life could be lost to save a life.  A sacrifice I wish didn't happen.